people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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