You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
