True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
