So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize