I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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