She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
