So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
