Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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