no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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