Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
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Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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