they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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