Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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