I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
