haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
