The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
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So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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