And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
