The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
