SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
