Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
