I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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