one two three fourrrrnication!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
