i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
