Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
