I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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