the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
