whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
