bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
