Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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