the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize