We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
