I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize