I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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