belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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