what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
