was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
