what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
