so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
