I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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