Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
