i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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