Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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