you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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