Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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