16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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