i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
