how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
