Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She bit a glass in half.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He keeps bees of course he's weird
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
