Having a random hookup so left but love u
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
