Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
