You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
