your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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