this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think I am morally bankrupt
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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