if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize