Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
