yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
