both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
