I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
