How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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