why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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