I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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