Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
