Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i already hear my dad disowning me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
