I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I want a musical about memes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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