She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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