Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
