I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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