is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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