god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
